Well it's been six weeks and I finally feel like writing this out.
Tuesday, April 5
I was very ready for this baby to come out. I had a friend in town for the birth who was due to leave in 4 days and I really wanted her there. Two days earlier I spent an entire day cleaning my house top to bottom hoping it would kickstart something. Nada. I didn't even know it was possible for me to clean it in one day. Especially 39.5 weeks pregnant with two small boys running around.
That night (Tuesday and one day before my due date) I went through the house and put everything in it's place and cleaned the kitchen before bed. This is not something I usually do but for some reason felt I needed to. I got to bed about 11 I think.
Wednesday, April 6 (Due Date!)
I woke with a start and immediately felt warm fluid start to come out of me. This is exactly the same way it started with Grey. I woke up both times seconds before making a mess of myself. I jumped out of bed and didn't know what to do. It was obviously my water and it was coming out fast. It was 1:30 am. I ran to the bathroom as fast as I could leaving a trail on the carpet behind me. Gross. I sat on the toilet for some time waiting for it to subside. I checked out the color and really tried to convince myself that it didn't look the slightest bit yellow. Or that that might just be a normal variation.
I was finally able to crawl back into bed at 2. I took my iPad with me to monitor contractions. Jeremy was still sleeping obliviously. As soon as I lay down contractions started. They were not very painful. About a minute long and 5 minutes apart. I timed them for an hour until they were 4 minutes apart. Jeremy's alarm clock was set to go off at 3:30. I got up at three and went to change my pad.
As soon as I did, I knew something was wrong. The fluid had not changed color but there were a couple well-formed little "poops" there. I know that is terribly specific but it gave me a pretty good indication of what was happening even if I did not want to accept it quite yet.
I got cleaned up and knew it was time to call my midwife, Janice. My contractions had stopped when I got out of bed and my brain wanted to wait to see what happened but my gut knew I had to call. Plus I knew I needed to get the ball rolling before Jeremy got up because there was a pretty good chance he was going to be a little freaked out.
A sleepy Janice answered the phone. I told her what was going on and she said she would pick up her assistant (Bonnie) and be there soon. I heard Jeremy's alarm going off and went to tell him the news. That my water had broke, baby was pooping and that Janice and Bonnie were on their way.
They arrived about 4:30 am. I had already started gathering some things for a trip to the hospital. We talked about what was happening, checked baby's heartbeat (which was fine and a big relief) and Janice asked if I wanted her to check me. This was another situation where my brain and gut were at odds. I followed my gut. As soon as I took another look at what was coming out of me we both knew it was bad. She checked for dilation, said I was just starting to dilate and that she did not know what position baby was in but that she could not feel a head.
Janice asked me what I wanted to do but it was clear to both of us that we needed to head to the hospital. This is where I start to lose it. I put all of my mental energy into packing my bag for the hospital and gave Jeremy a list of people to call. I knew I couldn't talk to anyone or I would be a mess.
Dad and Linda arrived to stay at the house with our sleeping boys at about 5:15am. Everyone else would meet us at the hospital. My mom, Jessica P., Jessica C., and Jeremy's mom. We got everything ready to go and arrived at the hospital at 6:00. Janice and Bonnie had gotten there first and a room was ready for me.
I got a heartbeat monitor, a contraction monitor and a nurse checked my cervix. I was at a 4 but, once again, she could not figure out what position baby was in. An ultrasound machine was brought in. I made sure to tell her we did not know baby's gender. Still it was difficult for them to make it out. The doctor had been called in and as we waited for him, we got all the necessary paperwork filled out and questions answered. I had been contracting since I had gotten in the hospital bed.
Dr. Rudeen arrived about 7am. He also checked my cervix (sheesh!) and also did not feel a head. He checked baby's position from outside and easily felt her head hanging out in the top left portion of my belly. Her bottom was lower right. Her back came around top right. The backs of her little legs were presenting. Perfect.
The O.R. was prepped and so was I. I received my I.V. and was talked through everything that was going to happen. None of it was news to me and I easily agreed to all of it and let the nurses do their thing. I should mention I was doing my very best to hold it together but was not succeeding a lot of the time.
I should also mention that not one time was any one of us treated badly for being a home birth transfer. All of the nurses and even the doctor were very understanding and tried to make the process as easy as they could for me.
I was wheeled off to the O.R. at about 7:30. This was all very surreal for me. Getting the spinal, talking to the anesthesiologist, telling everyone in there we did not know what we were having. It seemed like every single person asked me and were delighted at my answer. It was a very friendly environment.
Until there I was staring at the ceiling, all draped up with Jeremy at my side. Crazy. Dr. R got right to it. I immediately told the anesthesiologist they needed to stop. I was feeling way more than I should be. For some reason this was hard for them to believe. Like it was all in my head or something. I would think anyone could understand how terrifying this prospect is and to please take it seriously. So I was given more medicine and a few minutes to let it take effect.
My heart was racing and I think I was close to a panic attack at the thought of them starting again. Luckily everything worked and I felt no pain. What I didn't expect was to feel everything else. No pain but I felt everything they were doing and did not at all need to be talked through the procedure. Yuck, it was awful.
We were told she had all of her toes. Remember, she was in there backwards, lol. Then out of nowhere: "Its a girl!" O.M.G. You have got to be kidding me. Jeremy and I were blown away. Neither of us were expecting this and we were both immediately very emotional. What a crazy couple of minutes. She came out at 7:50am.
She was taken to a warmer that was inexplicably just out of my view. I could hear her crying and could see people around her but that was it. The rest of my c-section was awful. I could feel hands inside me and things being tugged around and I really, really just wanted it to be over. It seemed to take forever for them to finish. I got to kiss Alice on the cheek before she and Jeremy were taken to the nursery. I would give anything to go back and ask if she could have gone with me to recovery. This separation was and is easily the hardest part of the whole thing. I was taken to recovery for an hour while everyone else was meeting Alice and being told her gender and name. I'm told it was an exciting time.
I impatiently waited and chatted with a very nice nurse until I was able to convince her I was ready to go to my room. The rest of the day is mostly a blur. I hardly remember holding Alice for the first time. As soon as I got to the room I think the drugs and lack of sleep hit me pretty hard. I started throwing up and got dead tired. The boys met her about an hour later.
We stayed in the hospital until Friday morning when the pediatrician finally released Alice. Luckily Jeremy was able to stay with us the entire time while the boys stayed with grandparents. We were more than ready to be home.
April 6, 2011
7 lbs. 6 ozs. 22 inches
It was quite the day. Amazing how so much can happen within just a few hours. I'm finally healed now and I still can't believe sometimes that we have a beautiful baby girl.